SGA ficlet: Lifted
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unadriftThis is a PG-rated tag for Infection with one reference to Brain Storm, written for the Season 5 Tagathon on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sga_episodefic.
780 words of one-sided McKay/Sheppard, with mention of McKay/Keller. Needless to say, this is not a happy story. Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trystings for the beta!
Remember when John said to Woolsey that yes, Todd might go to all sorts of trouble just to kill John, but maybe this was a bit much? And remember the way Rodney glared at John then?
"Do we need to have a talk?" Rodney asked briskly, hovering over John and his coffee and chocolate cake, arms crossed.
John just raised an eyebrow and saved his breath. Inquiring about the nature of the remark was entirely unnecessary. This was Rodney. He would go on anyway, in three, two, one--
"About who is Todd's least favorite?" Rodney clarified. Or rather, he probably intended to clarify. John had gotten kind of used to the twisted pathways Rodney's thoughts were prone to taking, but even previous experience was of no help to John here.
"Killing you?" Rodney muttered dismissively. He pulled up a chair and sat down opposite John. "How did you ever reach the conclusion that Todd might go to any trouble just so he can kill you? Me, now that makes a lot more sense. With my expert knowledge on Wraith technology, the numerous plans I designed and executed that cost countless Wraith lives. Yes, Todd might go to any lengths to kill the MVP on our side. But you?"
If John had been swallowing a sip of coffee just then, he would have choked on it. He stared, disbelieving, long enough for Rodney to take notice.
"What?" Rodney asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
"I don't even know where to start," John said, shaking his head. "You-- Every time I think you can't get any more--" He gestured at Rodney. The expression to adequately put the essence of ill-adjusted Rodney-esque behavior into words hadn't been invented yet. "--you go along and top it," John finished.
"Top what?"
John set his cup down.
"One," he ticked off on his fingers. "The numerous plans you designed? Two: Which you executed all on your own? Would you like to rephrase those statements before I go into detail about all the ways in which they are just wrong? And three: Did you really just lay out for me all the reasons why you deserve the top position on Todd's death list? I suggest you send an application with credentials, since my word doesn't carry much weight with him," John said crossly.
It was Rodney's turn to stare then, wide-eyed and surprised.
Okay, so John usually took Rodney's chronically insane behavior in stride. He even liked and occasionally nursed Rodney's competitive streak, because it was fun to banter and argue with him, to push him further, to drive him to new heights of productivity. Truthfully, it had always been entirely too much fun for John. Plus, more often than not a little prodding had proved to be the key to the success of a mission or, at worst, even their survival.
But there was a line. John had suspected that they were going to encounter it at some point, though he had never been able to even make a guess where that might be.
Tonight, for some reason, Rodney had reached that line and crossed it.
"Some days I can't believe they call you a genius," John continued. When Rodney was actually speechless, the moment had to be seized. "For all that intellect of yours, you sure have a limited understanding of what's going on around you, of what other people contribute to ensure Atlantis' safety."
Rodney's mouth opened, then closed again. His face was flushed, his eyes narrowed, but instead of the sarcastic, snappy retort John expected – the very Rodney thing to do – Rodney looked down at the table, then at John again. "Well. Um. I suppose I should-- Jennifer suggested that I try to act more, er, humble."
"Of course she did," John said, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of his voice for once. He waited for the pang of jealousy to hit him, like it usually did when Rodney mentioned Keller in her capacity as his new girlfriend.
Only it didn't hit. Not this time.
There was nothing but that familiar frustration with Rodney's selective obliviousness, which had suddenly lost its cutting edge of missed opportunities, of 'should-have's and 'not-meant-to-be's.
The realization was followed by an intense feeling of relief. Five years' worth of self-denial, tentative hope, and deceptive certainty so strong that John had thought he could almost taste it at times--
Lifted. Just like that.
Rodney studied John with a piercing stare, the one that usually meant he was this close to figuring something out. If Rodney did, now, if he chose this moment to finally buy a clue, to get his head out of his ass, to realize-- John was going to have to punch him in the face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rodney asked instead, almost defensively.
"Nothing," John answered. "Forget it."
For a moment it looked like Rodney wouldn't let it go. But then he just pointed at the abandoned cake on the table. "If you're not going to--"
"Go ahead," John said, aiming an easy smile at Rodney. "I'm finished."
Rodney pulled the plate towards him.
John stood and left, not looking back.
- end -
Now with sequel: Alight
The Pleasure of Your Company (AU for 5x16) // Wrong (tag for 5x18)
sga_episodefic.780 words of one-sided McKay/Sheppard, with mention of McKay/Keller. Needless to say, this is not a happy story. Thanks to
trystings for the beta!Remember when John said to Woolsey that yes, Todd might go to all sorts of trouble just to kill John, but maybe this was a bit much? And remember the way Rodney glared at John then?
"Do we need to have a talk?" Rodney asked briskly, hovering over John and his coffee and chocolate cake, arms crossed.
John just raised an eyebrow and saved his breath. Inquiring about the nature of the remark was entirely unnecessary. This was Rodney. He would go on anyway, in three, two, one--
"About who is Todd's least favorite?" Rodney clarified. Or rather, he probably intended to clarify. John had gotten kind of used to the twisted pathways Rodney's thoughts were prone to taking, but even previous experience was of no help to John here.
"Killing you?" Rodney muttered dismissively. He pulled up a chair and sat down opposite John. "How did you ever reach the conclusion that Todd might go to any trouble just so he can kill you? Me, now that makes a lot more sense. With my expert knowledge on Wraith technology, the numerous plans I designed and executed that cost countless Wraith lives. Yes, Todd might go to any lengths to kill the MVP on our side. But you?"
If John had been swallowing a sip of coffee just then, he would have choked on it. He stared, disbelieving, long enough for Rodney to take notice.
"What?" Rodney asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
"I don't even know where to start," John said, shaking his head. "You-- Every time I think you can't get any more--" He gestured at Rodney. The expression to adequately put the essence of ill-adjusted Rodney-esque behavior into words hadn't been invented yet. "--you go along and top it," John finished.
"Top what?"
John set his cup down.
"One," he ticked off on his fingers. "The numerous plans you designed? Two: Which you executed all on your own? Would you like to rephrase those statements before I go into detail about all the ways in which they are just wrong? And three: Did you really just lay out for me all the reasons why you deserve the top position on Todd's death list? I suggest you send an application with credentials, since my word doesn't carry much weight with him," John said crossly.
It was Rodney's turn to stare then, wide-eyed and surprised.
Okay, so John usually took Rodney's chronically insane behavior in stride. He even liked and occasionally nursed Rodney's competitive streak, because it was fun to banter and argue with him, to push him further, to drive him to new heights of productivity. Truthfully, it had always been entirely too much fun for John. Plus, more often than not a little prodding had proved to be the key to the success of a mission or, at worst, even their survival.
But there was a line. John had suspected that they were going to encounter it at some point, though he had never been able to even make a guess where that might be.
Tonight, for some reason, Rodney had reached that line and crossed it.
"Some days I can't believe they call you a genius," John continued. When Rodney was actually speechless, the moment had to be seized. "For all that intellect of yours, you sure have a limited understanding of what's going on around you, of what other people contribute to ensure Atlantis' safety."
Rodney's mouth opened, then closed again. His face was flushed, his eyes narrowed, but instead of the sarcastic, snappy retort John expected – the very Rodney thing to do – Rodney looked down at the table, then at John again. "Well. Um. I suppose I should-- Jennifer suggested that I try to act more, er, humble."
"Of course she did," John said, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of his voice for once. He waited for the pang of jealousy to hit him, like it usually did when Rodney mentioned Keller in her capacity as his new girlfriend.
Only it didn't hit. Not this time.
There was nothing but that familiar frustration with Rodney's selective obliviousness, which had suddenly lost its cutting edge of missed opportunities, of 'should-have's and 'not-meant-to-be's.
The realization was followed by an intense feeling of relief. Five years' worth of self-denial, tentative hope, and deceptive certainty so strong that John had thought he could almost taste it at times--
Lifted. Just like that.
Rodney studied John with a piercing stare, the one that usually meant he was this close to figuring something out. If Rodney did, now, if he chose this moment to finally buy a clue, to get his head out of his ass, to realize-- John was going to have to punch him in the face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rodney asked instead, almost defensively.
"Nothing," John answered. "Forget it."
For a moment it looked like Rodney wouldn't let it go. But then he just pointed at the abandoned cake on the table. "If you're not going to--"
"Go ahead," John said, aiming an easy smile at Rodney. "I'm finished."
Rodney pulled the plate towards him.
John stood and left, not looking back.
- end -
Now with sequel: Alight
The Pleasure of Your Company (AU for 5x16) // Wrong (tag for 5x18)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 04:07 pm (UTC)(Would I be out of line to demand a sequel? else I might end up writing one myself...
...yeah, I know you warned it wasn't happy. I suck at stopping myself from reading things that'll depress me ^^;)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 05:52 pm (UTC)So, I guess this is me, trying to fix things for John?
Would I be out of line to demand a sequel? else I might end up writing one myself...
Oooh, you do that! Want to read!
A sequel from me can't be expected anytime soon, unfortunately. I've got one Identity tag to write (*no* inspiration for that so far) and a Brainstorm AU and a Vegas tag to finish. Although, with the holidays over and me back at home and with time on my hands again... Maybe I'll get *real* creative...?
I suck at stopping myself from reading things that'll depress me
Er, yeah. Don't I know that. *sigh* Happened to me the last time with this (http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=14168). I was thoroughly warned, read it anyway (it really was an amazing read), and the feeling of sadness it created kept haunting me at random moments for days.
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Date: 2009-01-03 06:18 pm (UTC)But this wasn't a death-fic, so there's still hope. I can totally understand where you're coming from - Rodney's my favorite character, but even I've been getting annoyed with him this season (actually, reading your fic I couldn't help but think, "Hey, this is Gero's s5 Rodney! Yuck!" You get him too close to the recently canonical Rodney, who is missing most of what I love in him...)
That being said, in a scenario like this I find myself getting just as annoyed with John - he's got no reason to be so perturbed by Rodney not understanding his feelings when he's never stated them, when Rodney has no way of knowing that his seemingly straight friend feels anything for him - Rodney sucks at interpersonal relationships and John knows this. So if John's pining, it's his own damn fault that his love's unrequited, he could've said something. And then I just feel sad for both of them, because they're losing a chance for great happiness because they're both such emotional retards. XP
--Just so you're clear, none of this is criticism of your fic; I think the story's to be commended for inspiring such strong feeling! Also, I gotta say that I liked that John felt freed when Rodney reeled off Keller's thing about being humble - to me it read that John wasn't giving up his love of Rodney, but rather realizing that this man wasn't the Rodney he loved anyone, that this was someone with all of Rodney's faults but had lost the strength of character that John loved in him. But this is Rodney - Keller's got him cowed with sex for now, but it can't last! Hah!
...Um, yes, strong feeling indeed! Sorry...please do consider it a compliment!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:13 pm (UTC)I do! I suspected beforehand that this might induce some discussion, because it paints especially Rodney in a not-so-flattering light. But if something induces discussion, then it's worth discussing, which makes it easy for me to take this as a compliment *g*
Yes, yes, and yes to the Rodney thing! Although getting close to the annoying s5 Rodney is actually a compliment for me here :-) because I drew from my take on canon and tried to stay close to it for the purpose of writing this tag. Sadly, it seems that I'm past believing in canon-based McShep after Brain Storm.
The question you raise about John's role in this is interesting. Thinking about it, John really acts as much like an idiot here as Rodney does, only in different ways.
In John's defense, maybe he waited until it was suddenly too late? On the other hand, Rodney's relationship with Keller was a train wreck in the making. Er, so to speak. (Not that I'm biased or anything.) John even had alternate universe insider knowledge about where they were going to end up, so this argument is pretty much invalid.
I'm thinking there should be a companion piece for this fic from Rodney's POV in which it is revealed that Rodney decided to jump into the relationship with Keller because he thought that John wasn't interested. Now, *that* would be depressing. And proving their status as emotional retards without doubt. (Er, I might even be making myself uneasy here with sad ideas...)
Oh, and concerning deathfic: I even managed to avoid "Freedom's just another word..." so far. I know, it's totally uncommon not to have read that. By now, I guess I'm mainly trying to be contrary?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:38 pm (UTC)If the show had any skill in writing romance, I could believe in McKeller, maybe, even if I didn't want to. But as it's presented, I can't see their relationship as at all functional; they might call it love but that's not what real love looks like, and I can't imagine their relationship will last without both of them being miserable in it. If we'd gotten a s6 with getting married or whatever - yeah, that might've wrecked my McShep. But as it stands, John's just got to hang in there a little longer. Or else take a stand and save his friend from himself (and heck, save Keller from him, because I don't think she's going to be any happier in this relationship than Rodney...)
ETA: Also, Rodney jumping in with Keller because he thinks John's not interested - owwww but I could see it. Except then it would just have to end with the two dunderheads figuring it out, because it's just not fair to them otherwise! XP
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:53 pm (UTC)Currently, it's-- Hm. Weird is the best description I can come up with. The bad weird.
Maybe if I stare at your take on McShep long enough, I can adopt it as my own. Because it sounds entirely reasonable.
*stares intently*
PS: Now I'm seriously considering writing that sequel/fix-it. *g*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 08:09 pm (UTC)(Basically, the end of this season - either Rodney's gay, or a bit of that brain parasite's still around, screwing with his head. Either way, needs fixing! And I'd love your fix-it so very much - the end of the show's depressing enough, we all need pick-me-ups! *tosses plot-bunny feed your way*)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 05:01 pm (UTC)Honestly, I'd much rather have him get over Rodney rather than pine pathetically after him. He deserves so much better than that.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 05:55 pm (UTC)Yep, that was the sentiment. *g* I've started to, kind of, dislike Rodney a little during the last couple of episodes? It's starting to show.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 05:36 pm (UTC)So it might not be happy---but I actually smiled and felt uplifted for John.
Sadly, now I see how it could work if John found someone else--and Rodney finally realized that his best friend wasn't at his beck and call anymore...poor short-sighted Rodney.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 06:02 pm (UTC)I'm glad you did. This was supposed to be hopeful, too. It isn't what I intended to write, I kind of drifted into fixing the canon (as I see it) for John. He deserves some happiness, after all.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 06:18 pm (UTC)I am feeling so sorry for John these days, I'm about ready for him to get over his pining
Er, yes. What you said. *g*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 08:49 pm (UTC)This is exactly what happens when your perspective on someone changes and their tolerable faults become deal-breakers. I think I might go post my bitter Infection tag too.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 06:28 pm (UTC)I usually like happy stories. Not sugar-sweet, tooth ache-inducing happy, but the believable kind.
I guess I've gotten past believing in canon-based McShep after a certain point in season five. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 11:33 pm (UTC)I haven't given up hope though. I can still see them getting together at one point in the future. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:27 pm (UTC)And it is hard to get angry at Rodney for being oblivious - he is so convinced they are both into women, he simply can't see what is in front of him.
Actually,
no subject
Date: 2009-01-04 01:12 am (UTC)My sentiments exactly actually. If John thinks that the most clueless person on Atlantis can tell the love from the slump of his shoulders (as half of fandom can apparently, but that's an entirely different matter), then he is as much to blame as Rodney. Methinks it's time we set them both down and bring out the flow charts.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 12:03 am (UTC)I like it. I like that John finally buys a clue, and how fantastic that feels.
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Date: 2009-01-03 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:30 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 07:33 pm (UTC)*nods*
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 03:32 am (UTC)I would think that, considering that Todd has already sucked almost all the life out of John *once*, John is definitely on the top of the list.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-15 12:32 pm (UTC)I'm still so damned angry about the Keller thing, and the whole "change Rodney for the better" thread that TPTB went tripping down
Yes. Exactly. I was so frustrated after Brain Storm, I couldn't bring myself to write funny or happy stuff. I very much like writing humor, and I managed to do that for almost every other S5 episode before, even the really bad ones. In a way, that was my means to fix things, to keep my happy place. It stopped working after Brain Storm-- except with the AUs.
So, John had to be set free. (I've been working on a sequel, though, inspired by the discussion with
no subject
Date: 2009-03-15 06:44 pm (UTC)The way they portrayed Rodney in the last half of the final season really caused a lot of damage.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-04 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-15 12:36 pm (UTC)I've been waiting for that weight to lift off me
Dito. That's exactly where this fic came from.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 08:16 pm (UTC)Yes. I love stories like this, the relief and loss and it hurts so much!
Reading sequel now.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-13 07:49 pm (UTC)